4 Qualities of a Mature Person

Qualities of a Mature Person

A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably. ~ By Eleanor Roosevelt

There was a short story about life, discussed between an old wise man and a young boy, which I’ll never forget.  It explicate why life is what we make it. And the story goes like this…

High in the mountains lived an old wise man.  Occasionally, the wise man treks down the local village to entertain the people with his special abilities one of which is to tell what object is in a container or what does a person thinks.

A few young boys decided to play a joke on the old man and planned to ridicule him.  One of them caught a bird and enclosed it in his grip.  The boy knew that the wise man would know what would be in his hands so he would ask if the bird is dead or alive.  If the wise man will say the bird is alive, the boy would crush the bird in his hands; if the wise man will say the bird is dead, the boy would open his hands and let the bird free.  No matter what the wise man will say, the boy could prove that he is a fraud.

The following week, the wise man came down from the mountain and on to the village.  The boy captured a bird and walked up to the village.  The boy captured a bird and walked up to the wise man and asked, “Can you tell what I have in my hands?”

The wise man said, “You have a bird.”

The boy then asked, “Tell me, is the bird alive or dead?”

The wise man looked straight in the boy’s eyes and said calmly, “Young man, the life of that bird which you now hold is already in your hands as you choose it, and so it is also with your life.”

What is a Mature Person?

Mature person, in general, is defined as an individual who has achieved natural growth and development.  It is having attained the final or desired state.  To be more specific, a mature person is one who is able to live life with principles and wisdom both gained through learning from others and by their own experiences.  Mature person is able to lead life with high emotional intelligence that aids them to stay calm and think clearly during difficult moments.  Mature person also knows how to keep a harmonious and win-win attitude towards other people because they have mastered the principles of relationship.  Furthermore, a mature person is able to keep an independent mindset and consciously live life following the principles and purpose they have set for themselves, regardless of what other people think or say.  And lastly, a mature person is able to understand that life is what you make it.  That destiny is within a person’s choice.  As much, a mature person lives life making conscious decisions knowing that whatever the result is, they are the one responsible.  They don’t pass the blame or credit to other people.

So short to say, a mature person understands that he or she is responsible for his or her own life.  And that the only way he or she can live a more fulfilling, successful and purpose-driven life is when he or she starts to fully develop the attitudes and principles of a matured person.

Qualities of a Mature Person

If you want to become a mature person, someone who can handle all reproofs and hardship of life with grace, strive to develop these basic four qualities of a mature person:

1. Live with Integrity

    • Be committed to the truth regardless how much it hurts.
    • Be willing to tell the truth even if it’s humiliating and difficult.

2. Be Responsible

    • Learn to take responsibility and accountability of your own action.
    • Do not blame the results of your life to other people or circumstances.
    • Have humility and open-mind to accept negative opinion, faults and criticism.
    • Be willing to admit it when you are wrong and know how to apologize.

3. Develop a Learner Attitude

    • Develop a teachable spirit that is willing to listen and expand your perspective.
    • Keep an open mind to hear counsel and respond to reproof.


4. Be Available

    • Be open to interruption and be accessible.
    • Value and cherish a time well spent to people.
    • Set priorities and strive to follow it.

Personal Development is the First Step to Maturity

Commonly, a mature person is often represented by age.  We think that maturity only represents older men and women.  But I have come to witness and observe that a mature person doesn’t only denote old age, because I still see a lot of older men and women who have not attained a matured personality.  These are people who can’t still accept criticism and confrontation.  Who tend to be offensive or defensive to avoid being faulty or to prove their point.  There are still a lot of old men and women who still don’t know what they want to achieve and do with their life.  And still finds it hard to communicate and relate to people.  Furthermore, there are still old men and women who have not acquired emotional intelligence.  They are still hardened by life trials and struggles, they still tend to succumb with self-pity and stress which leads them to depression.

On the other hand, there are increasing young adults who have achieved self-mastery and development despite their young age.  They have acquired high level of emotional intelligence, they already know what they want, they can relate well to people and knows how to keep a win-win attitude, they stay focus on their priorities and important tasks, and they understand that life is what they make it.  Oftentimes, these young adults who have attained mature personality at an early age are the ones who succeed and live a well-meaning life.

A mature person has achieved self-mastery through personal development and self-improvement.  By learning and mastering the right principles and attitudes, a mature person can overcome any challenges life brings.  If you want to become a mature person, take this as an opportunity to start improving your well-being through personal development.

The first step to becoming a mature person is through personal development and self-improvement.  By keeping an open-mind to learn and apply the principles on personal growth, you will be able to develop yourself in living a more conscious life, like a mature person does.

I, too, have been in a stage where I wanted to escape and solve the miseries of my life.  Luckily, I’ve found my way out, and eventually became more mature in life, when I’ve started opening myself to personal development.  This website is a proof of how far I’ve gone in my journey to maturity and personal development.

Maturity is a choice.  You can choose to live as a mature person that lives consciously with established principles and attitudes.   Or you can choose to live as you are and continuously be beaten by the struggles and miseries because you have did not choose to develop mature attitudes.

Recommended Readings:

Start developing a mature personality, here are some of the recommended books that can help you further in developing yourself to become a mature person, to grow older, happier and wiser.

Rules for Aging: A Wry and Witty Guide to Life

This is a short book with only 140 pages yet offers up a whopping 56 rules for wisely navigating life into your golden years.  The purpose is to become a little guide intended for people who wish to age successfully, or at all.  It defines why growing older is as much an art as it is a science, and it requires fewer things to do than not to do. After you’re done, this is a good book to have around to read to friends, or to pick up when you realize you are taking things too seriously and want to laugh at life.



The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully

This book show wonderful lessons in how to live, regardless of our chronological age.  It views how our life, at any age, to be a choice. We are each given the gift of today. It is up to us what we do with it.  The author counters the idea that old age need be a time of isolation and loneliness and uselessness. Rather, it can be a time of great connectedness and joy and purpose. It is a time for looking back, not with the pain of regret for opportunities lost, but with understanding of how the life that has been lived has meaning for who we are right now and what our future holds.


Magnificent Mind at Any Age: Natural Ways to Unleash Your Brain’s Maximum Potential

Whether you’re in the midst of a demanding career or are looking forward to an active and richly rewarding retirement, Magnificent Mind at Any Age can give you the edge you need to live every day to your fullest potential.  The book emphasizes that it all starts with your brain: how you think, how you feel, how you interact with others, and how well you succeed in realizing your goals and dreams.  Based on the most up-to-date research, as well as on Dr. Daniel Amen’s more than twenty years of treating patients at the Amen Clinics, the book shows that the true key to satisfaction and success at any age is a healthy brain. By optimizing our brain function we can all develop the qualities of a magnificent mind enjoyed by the world’s most successful and happiest people.

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Approaching the study of relationships from a psychotherapist’s perspective is this book, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. Teacher and writer David Richo gives practical and spiritual exercises for couples and singles who want to have mature and lasting relationships. Emphasizing paying attention and letting go, Richo gently and compassionately coaches readers on what he calls the five A’s: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. His book, which proposes “letting go of ego,” will help those seeking personal transformation in their relationships.

For a final note,

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. – By Albert Ellis 

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  1. Especially when I think about people I know that I consider somewhat immature I think about lack of taking responsibility of ones action.

  2. This is also a character of a leader.

  3. stumbler says:

    Can easily admit when their wrong.


  4. I think people act matured even though they’re not but one thing they are not cool

  5. firstly thank you for this lovely article posted, after reading this i have come to a conclusion that yes i have been really immature in certain areas of my life.. and i am definately going to improve and work on the same..

    thanks great stuff !!!

  6. nice article thanks!!!

  7. riamond says:

    really love it. i miss my e-mail updates:) God bless and more lives to touch

  8. really i got and learnt so much from this website , really i admitted i have lots of drawbacks and i got learnt lesson from them iam thankful to all you give me way of spending my life jazakallah

  9. Good article, but some points need to be taken with a grain of salt.

    For example, criticism and confrontation are very often about the other person and their projections. Part of my maturing process has been to not absorb other people’s attempts to define me, because it’s not my job anymore to be what everyone else wants me to be. The real world is filled with abusive people, and although I take responsibility for my own words and actions, I’m not going to also take responsibility for theirs. Let them go find another person to project upon. I just wanted to provide some balance to this article, take it with a grain of salt, as you wish.

  10. Just wanted to add: Some people are never happy and will find a way to criticize no matter what, and no matter what we do, we will probably be criticized or “confronted” (which could be abuse) by someone or something., usually a person who is not happy with their own life. Continuing on with our original intention, followed by putting up boundaries/energetic shields is a very useful practice and will gain a person more respect in the long run.

    Thank you.


  1. […] 4 Qualities of a Mature PersonOct 15, 2009 … Qualities of a Mature Person is an article that can help anyone, young, middle- aged and older adults, who wish to grow emotionally and … […]

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