Defining Moment: Define It or Let It Define You

Each moment has the capacity to create transformation in our lives.  We may not be mindful of these little moments until it collects and make huge consequences.  Only then we get to notice the change and take action.

In this article, you will pick up lessons and tools on how you can define your life.  You will understand why every moment is a chance given to you in order to create the life that you want.  It’s up to you to make use of that chance or not.

What is a Defining Moment?

Defining moment is a significant incident which occurs in a person’s life.  Such incident has shaped the person’s identity, personality and life.

Additionally, a defining moment is said to be a moment which defines who we are.  It’s a strong happening which has caused a great shift in the way we perceive or act on things.

An example of a defining moment is the story of a successful entrepreneur in the name of John Smith.

John was employed as a senior analyst in an international bank company.  He has worked in the company for over 10 years and was rising slowly in the ladder of the corporate world.  

John enjoys and takes pride of his prestigious high paying job.  He was very fulfilled and satisfied with his career until one event changed everything.

One day, he was called in the office of his manager.  He was excited thinking it was about his much awaited promotion. But to his surprise, it was about his retrenchment.  The company decided to cut back on salary expenses by cutting jobs, and John’s position was one of those that were eliminated. 

In a blink of a moment, John found himself jobless.  He can’t believe that despite his loyalty, dedication and enthusiasm to work in this company, he still lost his job.  

Because of the sudden and shocking event brought about by losing his job, John felt lost and helpless for the first time in his life.  He doesn’t know what to do and how to start.  He wasn’t ready to lose his job. 

Several thoughts went around his head.  He worried about how he will sustain his family’s needs and how will he pay their mortgages.  And worst of all, how can he admit to people that he lost his prestigious and rewarding job.  His pride and ego couldn’t take the embarrassment and pity. He suddenly felt like a failure and miserable.

At first he wanted to take remedial action and sue the company.  But he knew he doesn’t stand a chance to win the case because retrenchment was a global phenomenon brought about by the financial crisis and globalization.  He decided to just to accept what has happened and moved on with his life.

To cope with the depressing defining moment in his life, John started reading books and blog articles on how to cope with adversity and personal development.  One of the books that helped him in coping with the sudden change was the book, Who Moved My Cheese?  The book enlightened him how he can better deal with change, he learned that he has two choices; he can choose to be victim or a victor.  To find out more about the lesson of this book, click here.

Reading books on change management and personal development, John started to gain new confidence and has developed a winning attitude. Later on, he started reading and attending trainings on topic of business, which has helped develop his entrepreneurial mindset.  He then ventured out and tried different kinds of business endeavor until he found what worked for him. 

To cut the story short, John became successful in his business ventures. He has found himself enjoying what he does while progressing financially. His retrenchment, which is considered as a defining moment, became a blessing in disguise for him to discover where he can be truly happy and successful.  John became a victor, and not a victim, of the moment that changed his life.

The morale of the story is that,

When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you.  You can choose to be a victim or victor of the moment.

A defining moment can make or break a person.  How about you, is there a moment in your life which has greatly influenced the way you perceive and do things?  To help you determine a defining moment in your life, think of a significant experience that you will never forget and how it affected your life.

Define the Moment or Let the Moment Define You

You will experience, at some point, a defining moment that can alter your life.  And when it happens, It’s up to you to let that moment define you and become it’s victim, or you choose to be a victor, who will proactively respond to that moment, and be the one to define how it will affect your life.

If you chose to be a victim, you will complain and be miserable about it.  You will feel helpless and do nothing to improve your situation.  As such, you will let the moment define your life, wherever it will take you.  And most probably, it will take you nowhere but down to unhappiness, hardship and misery.

If you chose to be a victor, you will not complain and blame anyone.  You will accept and adapt to the moment that changed the circumstance your life.  You understand that if you cannot change something, the best way to deal with is to move on and find new opportunities or learn to adapt.  With such attitude, you don’t let the moment define you; you define how the moment will lead your life to the future.  And most probably, you will end up with more opportunities, happiness and fulfillment.  Your attitude will take you to victory.

Be a Victor and Start Defining Your Life

Becoming a victor is the capacity to define your life.  If you do, you will be able to better cope with any changes or negative circumstances that will happen in your life.  You stop the blame game, the habit of complaining and condemning other people.  Instead, you will start to take charge of your life; you understand that it is you, not other people or circumstance who is responsible to whatever happens in your life. And those who knows how to take responsibility of their own life are the one’ who ends up with true success, fulfillment and happiness in life.

I hope this article has been inspiring and motivating for you.  We will appreciate it if you can leave a comment or share this article to your friends and family, using the social media share buttons below this article.

For a final note, let me leave you this phrase to ponder:


My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. – Oprah Winfrey

p.s.: You may want to read a book on how to better cope with change. You may read, Who Moved My Cheese, to buy a copy, click here.


  1. Thank you for sharing this article!!!
    Very informative.

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