Don’t Be Afraid to Lose

Don't Be Afraid to Lose

Having nothing, nothing can he lose. – William Shakespeare

In the past, I’ve used to be really conservative and cautious, especially with my decisions and actions. I like following rules and system, making sure I do what is acceptable and favorable to other people. I seldom go out of my comfort zone and take risk. I try my best to avoid committing a mistake and becoming a failure. I always strive to meet expectations of people and then exceed it. I guess it is part of my human inclination to belong and be accepted.

My conservative attitude brought me academic and professional excellence at an early age. Such as receiving academic merits, graduating and passing the board exam at the age of 19, working in prestigious jobs and getting promoted. In my personal life, my family and friends are happy and proud of me and my accomplishments. Also, I was blessed to be in a long-term serious relationship. I was having the time of my life, when suddenly, in a blink of an eye, my world was turned upside down.

In 2008, I’ve experienced many failure and loss, as they say, when it rains it pours. One of my loss and failure was losing an important person in my life; he dumped me for another girl. I wasn’t prepared to experience such pain and hurt of losing. It was the first time I got my heart broken. In fact, it took me awhile, almost two years, to accept and finally forget it. Most reason was because I wasn’t used to losing and failing. It was my first time to lose. In the same year, I was also struggling with financial crisis because I became the breadwinner and financial provider of our family. I was working long hours but my salary wasn’t financially satisfying. I was becoming a victim of cost-cutting and stressful work responsibility. I constantly find myself struggling to meet the financial needs of myself and my family, as well as find time to relax and rest.

Despite my conservative and careful approach to life, I wondered why I’ve still experienced failing and losing. At some point, I couldn’t accept it. I became so depressed and started to lose interest with life. I felt the pain, hurt and struggles will never end, that there was no way out.

In spite of the negative emotions, somehow I still continued to persist and continue living in struggles. And thankfully, after sometime, I got used to the pain and loss that I slowly began to see the light in the darkest days of my life.

Now, as i look back to that experience of losing, failing, hurting and pain, I am glad it happened because I saw a different view of life. I call it a turning point. It taught me so many valuable life lesson that I wouldn’t learn otherwise if I didn’t experience those dark and difficult moments. Also, I wouldn’t become the person I am now.

Thanks to that experience because it changed me for the better. Now, I’m no longer conservative and cautious in my approach to life. I don’t strive to follow rules just to be accepted by people. I’m not afraid of losing, failing and experiencing pain. I’m more open-minded and unconventional. And since the day I’ve adapted such attitude, I became more progressive in my life, personally, professionally and financially. I discovered and proven that when you keep a broad perspective in life, it can open better opportunities and experiences for you. As well as it makes you flexible and adaptable to the changes and circumstances life brings.

And to summarize my point, here’s why you shouldn’t be afraid of losing, hurting or failing:

  1. You will discover that when you lose something, you gain another thing. You open more room to new things, people or experience when you learn to let go and lose.
  2. You will learn to appreciate what you have. Oftentimes, people focus their attention on what they don’t have that they neglect to see what they do have. When you experience losing, you will learn to value what you have before you lose it.
  3. You will realize it’s not how difficult the situation is, it’s how you think and respond to it
  4. You will discover your strength and courage through failure and losing.
  5. You will know how to accept and move on because you understand that you cannot bring back what is already gone.
  6. You will become more open to failing, losing and letting go of control. You acknowledge that it is part of growing, learning and maturing in life.

If you will accept and apply these lessons and principles, you will be more open and acceptable to losing and failing. And once you do, you can achieve more happiness, peace of mind, progress, and fulfillment in life.

That’s what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning. – Richard Bach


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