People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. – The Alchemist
Dreams are fragile that can be destroyed easily. And once destroyed, it will be too hard to restore.
Do you not agree that words are powerful? Sometimes even just a simple word can create a deep impact to the other person that can cause them to stop believing in their dreams.
A great example is when a young child tells his/her parents that she/he wants to be a famous singer. Two reactions will set in, the first will carelessly nag the child of how stupid the idea is while the other will carefully consider how to support their child. They’ll even consider enrolling the child to a voice school to make the child’s ill voice acceptable. You see the difference? The first automatically kills the option of the child while the other did something to try improving it.
Now think, have someone told you that they gave up their dreams because you didn’t believed in them?
Don’t be like the first parent; here are some tips to help you become a dream booster instead of a dream buster.
1. Ask people about their dream and revisit it when you have a chance.
All of us have dreams but only few of us are asked about it. And when asked, we are hesitant to share for the fear of looking stupid or being judged. So when someone shares their dream with you, just listen. Based on my experience, people feel special when you ask them that question.
Once in a while, check up their progress. Remind them of how far they’ve gone to the reality of their dreams. It’ll be an additional good feeling to watch them bloom.
2. Tell them what they can become instead of telling them what they cannot do
One of the best ways to inspire others is to tell them what they can become.
Extraordinary people can do extraordinary things because somebody believes in them. I’ve observed this especially on kids, they become very enthusiastic on things when you tell them what they can become in the future.
Simply telling people what they can do will help them boost their dreams.
Give people good things they can look forward to.
3. Give them a new name
If you believe in what they can become, try giving them a new name that relates to their potential.
Eg: “Name” the Greatest Painter
Negative names, nicknames or aliases can block a person productivity and growth.
Give them a new name that can give them a new hope in the future. It gives people boost in self-esteem.
4. Recognize traits in them that will help them achieve their dreams
Have you encounter people attacking you and giving you negative feedbacks? Did it give you motivation?
Most of the time, people loves to see negative things instead of the positive. This usually happens at home and at work. We fail to see the good things of others.
This is part of the human nature, however, this solely is the reason why only a few recognizes their full potential.
So instead of looking at the negative, try to shift your view and start recognizing the potentials in people. Help them recognize their strengths that you believe will help them achieve their dreams.
5. Don’t be harsh, instead offer your assistance
I have a problem with this myself. Normally I cannot control myself when giving negative feedbacks and I never got a good result with that and so I’m changing it.
This is not just about saying positive words and positive feedback, sometimes it is also important to leave negative words unsaid.
Even if we think that their dream is almost impossible to achieve, it is not a license for us to criticize them.
Even if they’ve gone through a lot of failures in the past, we just need to focus on what they can become in the future.
Being great in your own skills and potentials is magnificent. And to achieve greatness in life is being able to boost someone else’s skills and to achieve their full potential.
For nothing is more wonderful than the feeling of hearing other people tell this to you..
“I succeeded because this person believes in me, when others are laughing at me”.
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I can relate to this. I’ve always been an extremely ambitious person. Growing up, I had many dreams that did not involve working a typical 9-5. I remember wanting to become a recording artist, a store owner, a music executive, and many others. I was not your normal kid, I believed in making money work for me, and not me working for it. Unfortunately some of these dreams were delayed because of the lack of motivation and negative talk I heard growing up. Now that I’m older, I’ve been the main motivator and the only member of my team. I believe that many should believe in themselves first, before depending on someone else to motivate them. By doing this, they will be setting a good example for those who do not know how to motivate and need to be reading the tips you’ve provided.
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and great insights Patrice. I also have experiences that I didnt get any support in regards to following my dreams.
Yes. I also believe that people needs to motivate themselves. As Jim Collins also stated in his book Good to Great that based on their research and with regards to motivation, we need to find people who are self-motivated and put them in the right sits.
The problem is not just about motivating people but its about not demotivating those who already motivated.
This requires us to be more sensitive.
December 9th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Just got back from a seminar by Michael E. Gerber, author of the E-Myth. He talked about having a Dream Room, no details as to what this was, but it really sparked my imagination.
On the way home my friend and I had a go at visualising what our Dream Room would be like.
I wonder what yours would be like?