No external happiness can last longer than happiness from within.. External happiness is dependent on event, person or thing. While internal happiness is dependent within you. How you know and love yourself. reflect on what makes you happy within. Be and do more of it! Life’s too short to be unhappy. ~ Lou Macabasco-Yanuaria
Happiness is different from each person. One may find happiness in simple thing while others look for happiness in a bigger and challenging way.
Finding happiness is also different from each person. One can easily be happy while others are struggling to be happy. It may be because of their circumstance or nature.
For an instance, there are countries who are very progressive in terms of monetary measurement yet many of citizens are suffering from depression and has high rate of suicide. On the other hand, there are countries who’s categorized as “third world” or poor in monetary measurement, such as my country the Philippines, yet the citizens are one of the happiest on earth.
Happiness is indeed a complex topic and to give you an how-to guide in happiness will be very promising.
Instead of giving pointers on how to find happiness, I’ll just share with you my realizations and research about finding happiness within.
I was raised in a pessimistic environment where you see first the bad rather than the good in a situation. That’s why growing up, being happy is always a pursuit I had to take. Plus the fact that I had a lot of traumatic experience that if I don’t pursue self improvement and study more about happiness, I will not be here writing and sharing my experiences and lesson learned. I have searched for answers on how to be happy and stay positive with oneself despite setbacks and negative circumstances. And that’s what I’d like to share here in this article.
1. You cannot be happy with others if you’re not happy with yourself
Naturally, as humans, you give a great deal of value with relationship, and you have high desire to belong. In your desire to belong, you sacrifice or neglect what you want. This then lead you to become unhappy because you restrict yourself from what you want to do or become.
I realized in my journey to finding happiness, you cannot be happy and have healthy relationship with other people if you are not happy with yourself. Being happy with yourself starts with knowing who you truly are, what you want to do or who you want to become, without the influence of other people.
2. You cannot love others if you don’t love yourself
Another natural tendency is to love others before you even love yourself. The self sacrificing kind of love that often leads to disappointment either cause the other person doesn’t reciprocate it the way you do or the way you expect them to do.
Self love should be first and priority before you can even give love to other people. It’s not selfish to love yourself, in fact, it’s healthy. Because if you love yourself, you can give more love to other people.
3. You will constantly feel lost
When your happiness is dependent on external factors instead of within, the tendency is you often feel lost on what to do with your life. Because you are being dictated by the wants and desire of other people. Plus you don’t set your own life direction.
Feeling constantly lost in your life direction is often cause of unhappiness.
4. You will become insecure and anxious
When you are not happy within it shows in the way you interact with other people. If you are not happy with yourself, you’re often not confident talking or mingling with other people. You become insecure, conscious and anxious on how you interact with other people.
Being happy with yourself and from within, it brings out sense of self-confidence.
5. You will become depressed
In current time, depression is a common mental illness that many people suffer from but are left uncured or unnoticed. Many still find it difficult to admit that they have depression for their fear of being judged weak.
When you are happy with yourself, the lesser chance you’ll experience depression because you have a sense of security with your own company. Plus you know already what you want to be or become which makes you busy being productive instead of being depressed and unproductive
6. You will make bad decisions you’d regret
When you are not happy with yourself and your life, you tend to become emotional and irritable. And in that state you often make decisions or actions you neglect later on.
When you are happy with yourself, you have a more clear and stable needed in making good decisions.
7. You will cling to destructive and addictive behavior
When you are not happy with yourself, there’s a tendency that you may become destructive just to find that sense of fulfillment. Example of destructive behavior is being clingy to other people, fighting to your loved ones if you don’t get the attention you want from them to be happy, bad and unhealthy eating habits, shopping addiction, etc.
8. You will be difficult to deal with
When you are unhappy with yourself, especially if you have depression, you tend become difficult to deal with. When you are unhappy it shows in your facial expression and how you relate with other people. You’re approach and aura is more of negative instead of positive. As such you become difficult to relate with.
9. It will be difficult for you to succeed in anything
I believe in like attracts like. Meaning if you are happy with yourself and you have positive attitude, the more likely you’d attract positive things in your life and succeed. The opposite is true if your negative or unhappy.
If you are not happy with yourself, it is a lot more difficult for you to succeed and have positive things in your life.
10. You will miss the chance to live a more fulfilled life
When you’re not happy with yourself you may be missing the chance to live a more fulfilled life because you are not making use of your limited time. Instead your are settling or using as an excuse whatever external factors bring into your life.
For a final note, let me leave you this thought to ponder:
Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life. ~ Mandy Hale