I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. ~Henry David Thoreau
The past weeks have been one of the busiest days of my life. Not only because I had to do a lot of things, but also, there were many results. Some of these things and results included transferring to our new home and preparing for our upcoming wedding this June. Because of these two events, my daily schedule became demanding. There are times I’ve needed to forget my own plans and desires just to accommodate the things we have to do and the people we have to please.
To tell you honestly, during those days, I couldn’t help not to feel frustrated. My frustration often arises to the fact that I needed to consider people in my decisions and actions. I felt that the blessings I’ve been having had a huge exchange, and that was my lack of freedom to do as I please.
Most likely, you can relate to my frustrations. When things go your way, there is always something to keep you felt like you lack another thing. As I’ve mentioned in one of my article, there will always be a missing piece. But the most miserable feeling is not having freedom to do as you please.
THE FREEDOM IN SOLITUDE
However, there was a good result in my frustrations because I’ve recalled another important life lesson, and that’s solitude.
Solitude means the state or quality of being alone or remote from others.
Personally, I value solitude because of two results:
Because when I seclude myself from people, it’s either I’m working on something that I want to focus or I needed space to reflect. And in both circumstance, solitude helps me to achieve my desired results.
For most, solitude is a negative behaviour. It is believed that being alone is a selfish act, lonely and unhappy. At home, in school, church, work or community, we were always taught to share and consider people, so as not to appear selfish or bad. However, many people are trapped into their own unhappiness and frustrations not because of solitude, but in lacking of it.
That’s the great lesson I’ve relearned while I was trapped in my frustrations of trying to please people and accommodate things. How did I do it? There was a day I didn’t think of pleasing anyone but myself. I’ve secluded myself from people and just do whatever I want to do. Solitude helped me find my inner peace and freedom, even just for a day. I’ve realized that having one day of freedom, just doing as you please, is enough to last you weeks of patience and consideration.
In our world were you need to please and consider so many people or responsibility, from your home, to your work/school, or your community, you should never forget to please the most important yet most neglected person, and that’s YOU.
Don’t neglect to take care of yourself. Lack of freedom is not caused by others, quite often it is caused by your own choice. It is caused by your choice of pleasing others first before you please yourself. You don’t know how to fight for yourself. You don’t know how to take care of yourself. It may sound harsh, but that’s the reality.
Remember, as the song lyric goes, “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.”
Before you can learn to love others, you have to know how to love yourself. And the best way to achieve self-love is through solitude.
Once in a while, take time to just please yourself and ask yourself, what will really make you happy, even if it requires you to seclude yourself.
For a final note, let me leave you this phrase:
No man should go through life without once experiencing healthy, even bored solitude in the wilderness, finding himself depending solely on himself and thereby learning his true and hidden strength. ~ Jack Kerouac