Marriage Advice: Elements of a Happy Marriage

In June 2011, me and husband got married, witnessed by our closed friends and relatives.

To share with you a bit details on our love story, we have met in 2009, in a business organization.  Since both of us have an entrepreneurial mindset and we’re both visionaries, we have set a date on when to get married. We have agreed to do that in our second (2) year anniversary.  However, there was a catch, we need to have our own house, a car and a certain amount of financial assets/ investments, before we can get married.  Which is why we worked our way to make our dream wedding date come true.

Our vision came true because we got married on our second (2) year anniversary, which is June 2011, and we met all the criteria before our wedding date.

In this article, I want to share with you the fundamentals you need to know and consider before you enter a serious relationship or consider getting married.  I took a note of these fundamentals of marriage during our wedding counseling seminar we were required to attend before our marriage license was released.

FUNDAMENTALS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

 

We see a lot of people who fall in love, enter a serious relationship and then decide to get married.  However, nowadays, people neglect to consider what kind of life marriage will bring.  They don’t try to learn and understand the elements that sustain a lifetime bond of marriage.  This is why when things go wrong or out of what they expected, the marriage leads to divorce or separation.

So before you consider and be excited in getting married, take into consideration if you are indeed ready to accept all the elements you need to keep in a marriage.

I’m happy to share that me and my husband have considered and accepted these elements, even before we attended the counseling.  And we will strive to make our bond stay for long haul.

WHAT ARE THE ELEMENTS OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE?

1. Commitment

As I’ve mentioned in my article, 4 Things You Must Know About Love, a very important factor in lasting relationship, like marriage, is commitment.

Almost everything in life is constantly changing, including love and romance.  You cannot avoid the fact that a day will come when your love for each other will fade away.  However, there will be something to keep the marriage intact, and that’s commitment.

When you are committed to somebody, you will choose to stick on it no matter how much temptation will lure you out.  Your commitment gives you strength not to give up.

2. Love

Love is a pre-requisite of a relationship and marriage.  Love is defined as a profound care and passionate affection for another person.  Feelings of compassion and care are the reason why you would want to be with somebody for the long haul.  And indeed love is a crucial element in a happy marriage.

However, love alone isn’t enough.  This leads us to the next element of a happy marriage.

3. Respect and Acceptance

When you love somebody and want to spend a lifetime together, you need to give respect and acceptance.  When you give respect, you show acceptance to the personality and whole-being of your partner in life.  You forget your ideals and choose to love the imperfection of the person you chose to spend your lifetime with.

A lot of times, before we enter a relationship, we expect so many ideals we’ve seen on fairy tales and love stories we’ve watched on televisions.  This is why we set a standard that we want our partners to live up to.  And if they won’t, we feel unhappy and discontented in the relationship.

However, true love that leads to marriage is not about being with the ideal person you dream of.  It’s about choosing to love, respect and accept the person you want to spend your life with.  Remember, your partner is a human being. He or she can’t be perfect, and so are you.

4. Communication and Empathy

Other important elements of a happy marriage are communication and empathy.

Communication is having time to converse with each other.  Nowadays, everyone is so busy with so many things in life that they value communication the least.  They only value its importance when their relationship gets complicated and hard.

Before you enter a married life, learn to manage your time effectively and remember to set aside a time to communicate with your spouse.   Lack of communication is the number one reason for break ups in relationships.

Empathy, on the other hand, is deeper than communicating.  There are communications that are shallow.  Wherein you just pretend to listen, when in fact, you do not hear and understand what is being said.

Giving empathy is a way of listening by putting yourself in the place of the other person.  When you empathize you understand what the other person feels.  And such is crucial in a happy marriage.  Because often reasons for break up is when another person feels they are not given importance and understanding.

5. Satisfying Sexual Relationship

In marriage, sex is important because it’s how the couple expresses their feelings and emotions with each other.  People often neglect or avoid talking about this element because they feel self-conscious and embarrassed.  However, sex is normal in marriage, and it will be damaging not to consider it.  Because most problem that arises in a marriage is the lack of romance and sex.  That’s why the other person just seeks that sexual satisfaction to a person outside the marriage.  So to avoid temptations, consider talking about your sexual relationship with your partner.  Work on how you can satisfy both of your needs.  Furthermore, this element is very important in family planning.

6. Financial Security

Another very important element to consider before you enter marriage is your financial stability.  We can’t deny the fact that money is important.  Those who say that money isn’t important are probably living in poverty.  Money is important, how you use and multiply it is much more important.

If by now, you haven’t known how to manage your finances well, reconsider if you are really ready to get married.   Remember, in marriage, two heads are affected.  If you have a bad money management habit, it will create a bigger problem in your marriage.  So before you consider getting married, take a look at your financial status and how well you manage your money.   You wouldn’t want to be in a scenario where you and your spouse are fighting over money.

If you happen to be preparing for your own wedding or considering to get married, have you considered knowing what marriage life brings?  Have you learned and accepted the fundamentals of a happy and lasting marriage?

This article is not meant to discourage you on entering the married life, but to prepare you on the things you need to learn and develop before you say “I do”.  Because knowing these elements beforehand will help you avoid being stuck in a miserable marriage and divorce, as well as help you build your own happy marriage.

Comments

  1. Superbly illuimnitang data here, thanks!

  2. thanks for your feedback, Mattie!

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