“In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love you want the other person. ~ Margaret Anderson”
If there is one experience in life that I would want to talk over and over is the moment I have experienced my first heart break. It may sound melodramatic, but I guess one of the most painful things you’ll ever feel in life is when you give out love 110%, but in return, you’ll get your heart broken into pieces. The other person may not intend that to happen, yet it did.
But instead of feeling miserable and unhappy in life, experiencing heartbreak was a total benefit for me. It opened me to maturity and positive side of life. Such experience taught me wisdom that helped me find true love once again. And not only had it made my second relationship better, but stronger. Now, I’m married to the person which I can honestly say my best friend in life.
4 Lessons in Love
In this article, you will pick up lessons of love that will be beneficial for you to have a strong and healthy relationship. And these lessons are the following:
1. Love Yourself First
Oftentimes, we get into giving so much love to other people that we neglect to take care of ourselves. If there’s a lesson I’d like to carry with me after the heartbreak is that you should always love yourself first.
However, this is not about being selfish and self-seeking, it’s about understanding yourself and taking care of yourself. Don’t be the first person who will degrade your value. You cannot give love to others unless you know how to love yourself first.
2. Find a Best Friend instead of a Romantic Lover
After finding love again, I’ve realized that it is more important to find someone who can be your best-friend rather than a lover. It’s true that when you treat the person you love as a friend, it makes the relationship much open and stronger. Because there’s no pretension, you can just be your crazy self, yet you can still accept each other.
On the other hand, if you are mere lovers, you just love each other as long as you agree on things. And once love fades and disagreement arises, the relationship becomes unmanageable, which leads to break ups and separation.
3. Be Open-Minded and Show Respect
One of my past negative attitudes that I was able to change and overcome is being closed-minded. I used to be very traditional and idealistic. I always have this belief of right or wrong. And such behavior led me to become closed-minded which makes it hard for me to accept other people’s behavior that does not meet my standard or belief.
But after experiencing the said turning point in my life, I was able to overcome such closed-minded and traditional mindset. Experiencing and accepting the negative happenings in life taught me to become more open-minded and respectful of other people’s attitude.
It helps a lot in relationship when you are open and ready to accept things as compared to always having ideals and standards. Not only will it ease your negative emotional burden, as well as, it gives space to breathe for your partner in life.
4. Give 110% Trust and Commitment
Last, but most important ingredient for a lasting relationship are trust and commitment. It doesn’t matter how much you love the person, if you don’t trust him or her, your love will go in vain.
I’ve learned this lesson the hard way because I used to be possessive and pessimistic. I always find reasons to doubt people until I’ve lose my first 5-year relationship. After losing it, I’ve realized how important it is that you give trust more than you give love.
In addition, other than trust, another important ingredient in a lasting relationship is commitment. Remember, true love fades; the only thing that can make a relationship last is commitment.
I hope this article has been inspiring and motivating for you. We will appreciate it if you can leave a comment or share this article to your friends and family, using the social media share buttons below this article.
For a final note, let me leave you this phrase to ponder:
“Love is not a feeling. Love is an action, an activity. . .Genuine love implies commitment and the exercise of wisdom. . . . love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth…..true love is an act of will that often transcends ephemeral feelings of love or cathexis, it is correct to say, ‘Love is as love does’.” –M. Scott Peck