Don’t quack like a duck, soar like an eage. – Ken Blanchard
What separates a successful, happy and contented person from the rest of the crowd, is its attitude. People who have ability and do not use that ability represent one of the real tragedies of life.
Are you that kind of person with ability but comprises of attitudes and traits that paralyzes your life?
In this article, learn the 3 negative traits you need to avoid so you can achieve happiness, fulfillment and success in your life.
Most people don’t get what they want because they don’t know what they want.
We hear a lot of people complaining endlessly about their life. May it be about their work, co-workers, bosses, children, parents, spouses, partners, siblings, friends, government, poverty, stress, ill-health, and all other stuff they could fill in their “I don’t like” or “I hate” list. We have numerous negative things to include in our “I hate” list but did we ever think of our “I like” or “I want” list?
INDECISION is the opposite of DECISION. DECISION is synonyms to CHOICE. And that’s what most people lack on.
If you want to achieve anything in life, may it be success, riches, happiness, good relationships, good health, and all other things that comprises a good life, you have to create that “decision” to choose and seek these good things in life.
To start creating a life of “decision”, begin in listing down what you really WANT, DO and BE.
- Want – Things you want to have. May be material things, like car, house, nice clothes, etc., or non-material things, like good relationships with your friends, family, co-workers, etc.
- Do – Something you want to act upon. Visit and tour places, start your own business/company, sing in public, trainings/classes you want to attend, treat your family to fancy dinner, etc.
- BE – The qualities, traits, values and attitudes you want to be. Become optimist, leader, extrovert, charismatic, humble, patient, smart, generous, loving, mature, understanding, etc.
Focus and decide on what you want then start acting upon it.
Here’s a sample of creating a list of decisions or wants:
- I’ll look more into the positive things instead of the negative.
- I’ll be more patient and understanding
- I’ll read more books, attend seminars/trainings that can enhance my intellectual, emotional and social self.
- I’ll save (specify the amount) every month so I don’t have to feel i’m broke
- I’ll visit one place I’ve never been once a year
- I’ll accept the imperfection of other people and be more considerate.
- I’ll sleep at least (specify the hours) to preserve my health.
- I’ll spend a day with my friends or family once a week.
The list may be material, serious or not. Whatever you want to have or do or be, just list it down and make that decision of aiming and living for that.
FEAR is an acronym in the English language for “FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL”
After knowing and deciding what you want, be and do in life, one major factor that hinders you to act upon your success and happiness is FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real).
Basically, all humans being have Six (6) Basic Fear:
- Lose of Love
- Old Age
People are paralyzed to pursue what they want, be and do in life because of these six (6) basic fear. They’re afraid that if they take chance to act on what they want to achieve, they’ll be faced with poverty, criticism, lose of love, ill health, etc. And upon thinking such, they back off and just settle for what they have. But when they settle back to their current life, they can’t stop complaining. So ironic, isn’t?
A great example I can tell you is my own personal story of FEAR, that’s Criticism. I’ve grown up to be an achiever and bread-winner of the family. Since I was young, I was taught to strive and work hard to achieve great status such as academic excellence, study in reputable school, pass licensure professional examination and work on prestigious companies and organizations. And believe it or not, I was able to achieve them all. I was able to achieve good grades in school and receive medals, I was able to pass the professional exam for Accountants in my country, I was able to work in three (3) prestigious companies (The Top Audit Firm in my country, Fortune 500 Multinational Oil Firm and the Central Bank in my country). So far it was all working good until I was faced in the decision that the path I’ve took wasn’t really the path I was going to be happy as a person. And it took me years to fully decide and pursue what I really wanted because of fear, of criticism. And the years I was delaying my decision, I was unhappy. Now, I was able to conquer that fear and pursue what I really wanted. And to tell you honestly, it wasn’t scary as I thought it will be.
If we root down to the source of FEAR, the main source is our thought. We think of negative thoughts, such as the six (6) basic fears, and we make them appear real.
To enable you to conquer your fears so you can pursue the things you want to achieve in life, make the decision to know what you want, be and do, then act upon it, regardless. Stop worrying on the negative outcomes, instead focus your thoughts on the whole possibility of success.
On the other hand, for the fear of uncontrollable situations like, death and old age, conquer it by accepting that it is part of life and take it as a sign that you have to make the most of your life while you are alive. That you may live your life to the fullest.
When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.
You’re done knowing and DECIDING what you want to achieve in life and have conquered your FEARS that’s stopping you to move on your decision, then the last negative traits sets in. You begin to doubt if you can achieve success in your decision and action.
Doubt means you lack belief on what you’ve decided to want, be and do. And when you start to doubt, the consequence happens. Doubt always creates worry. Worry is like a rocking chair; it requires a lot of energy, but it doesn’t get you nowhere. It paralyzes you and your success to achieving whatever goals you have in life. Worrying is a waste of time. It brings nothing but bad feelings, and forces you not to act.
If you don’t like your situation in life, don’t fret or worry – do something about it. Worry less and act more.
Just believe. You can achieve things if you believe.