Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS): Why Both Men and Women Should Understand It

A couple of years ago, as a child, I’ve dreamt of marrying at my hometown church with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  And such dream has come true last June 4, 2011.  I’ve married my best friend in my hometown church and my dream wedding came true.

I know this sound like a fairy tale love story, but it’s not like that.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in two relationships I’ve been with is that there’s no such thing as perfect relationship, like what happens in the fairy tale or other love stories.  And if you expect it to be, you’ll be doomed to a lifelong depression and anxiety.

But despite the imperfection of my relationship, I’m still looking forward to marry this person because even with all the imperfection, we stay committed to each other.  We strive to understand one another.  I guess that’s the benefit of marrying your best friend.  Because being friends make you love each other through out good times and bad.

What is PMS and How to Deal with it?


One of the problem in our relationship, and I guess most of other relationship, is the mood changes of the woman.  There are days in a month I am easily irritated and hard to deal with.  I’ve consulted medical explanation on it and I’ve found out I have hormonal imbalance that’s causing PMS.

PMS is pre-menstrual syndrome. It’s a wide range of physical or emotional symptoms that typically occur about 5 to 11 days before a woman starts her monthly menstrual cycle. The symptoms usually stop when menstruation begins, or shortly thereafter.

During those days of PMS, women suffering from it experiences anxiety, irritability, depression, bloating and craving sugary foods.

Currently, I’m reading a book on how to deal with PMS, entitled, “PMS: Solving the Puzzle – Sixteen Causes of Premenstrual Syndrome and What to do about it

The book showed sixteen different causes and treatment recommendations on PMS.  Also, it has pinpoint ways on how to reduce and eventually eliminate PMS.  Such as adjusting diet, understanding the importance of quality sleep, and other obvious solution, but are most often neglected.

If you are experiencing the monthly sickness of PMS like I do, I strongly advise you take time to read the book, “PMS: Solving the Puzzle – Sixteen Causes of Premenstrual Syndrome and What to do about it

Why PMS Affects Relationship?

In my relationship, although it’s imperfect, for me it’s real and strong, because we know how to accept and understand each other’s flaw.  And I feel blessed because the person I’m about to marry do not only understand my PMS problems, but he accepts  it.  Although sometimes he can no longer tolerate it, so we fight.  But after sometime, we talk about it and move on.

This is why I recommend that understanding PMS shouldn’t only rest upon women, but men should also consider studying it.  Because most unhealthy relationships arises from inability of couple to understand what causes women’s depression and mood swing.

Three Ways to Beat PMS

Other than the lessons and tips I’ve got from the book, PMS: Solving the Puzzle – Sixteen Causes of Premenstrual Syndrome and What to do about it, I’ve come to find out for myself this three important ways to treat PMS.

1. Acceptance

I know this sounds weird, but a lot of women, and men in general, couldn’t accept that they have flaws.  Egoistic as human nature are we don’t easily accept that there is something wrong or bad in us.  This is why in every argument and negative circumstances, our reactions are always to find fault and past the blame to other people.

So the first step in beating PMS is acceptance.  For women, recognize and accept that there is something wrong with instead of finding fault, admit its existence and then take a step in solving it.  For men, do not take this flaw as a sign of weakness, but strive to accept that it is part of who she is.  And just help her in curing it.

2. Communication

Once you’ve recognized and learned to accept that PMS is getting in between your relationship, the next step is to talk about it with your partner or loved ones.  Ask for understanding and patience on your flaw.  Consider options on how you will deal with it when it occurs.

Take for an instance, my soon-to-be-husband and I agreed on “give and take” relationship, when we can no longer settle to “win-win”.  When I’m not in a good mood, he strives to be humble and understanding, so he avoids fighting back.  And the same goes to me when he’s the one who’s not in the good mood.

Proper communication is very crucial in relationships, whether you’re dealing with PMS or not.  Because nothing can be solve without right communication.

3. Understanding

Last and most important step is understand, most especially men.  Your woman is struggling with an uncontrollable syndrome of PMS.  For sure if she has a choice, she wouldn’t want to feel its symptoms.  So be more patient and understanding if your woman goes through PMS.

For women, don’t give up with yourself just because you suffer in PMS.  Be patient and understanding that it will require a process.  Soon enough, once you follow proper techniques and advices on how to cure PMS, there will be someday you wouldn’t have to suffer from it.

For a final note, always remember this, especially in times of PMS:


“When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or the life of another” – Helen Keller


To learn more about PMS and how to battle it, see these recommendations:


  1. Great article!! Another book I would recommend is, The PMS (Please Make Sense) Guide for Men. It is a must read for both men and women. It really helped my husband and I open up some conversations that benefited us both. The book helped us both understand PMS!!

  2. Thanks for the recommendation Kris! 🙂

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