5 Stages of Change

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit

Our daily routine task (from the time we wake up ‘til we lay in bed again) creates cycle leading us to comfort. At times, such comfort creates lax in our character that make us forget that life is constantly changing.

We all have heard of the phrase,“the only constant thing in life is change”.

Although we’ve memorized this fact, we feel unaware of it until it comes to our life and hit us big time.

Change has two impacts, a positive and negative. On the positive side, it gives us an opportunity to experience new greater things and to give us a moving forward attitude. On the other side, we tend to get lost and feel like a failure because it hit us unaware and unprepared. Sad to say that most can relate to the latter compared to the former.

To help you cope more with change is to be aware of its process. Change like any other things in life has stages. Knowing them can help you lessen the burden of its impact.

Five Stages of Change

(I’ve learned this lesson from “Managing Oneself ” Training Program by Mr.Efren “Ping” Sotto)



When sudden change happens, we tend to deny it. We ignore it exist and live through life as if things are still and will be the same.

Change is a transition of what we have now to what we can become. Instead of feeling anxious and sad of what you have to loose, use this stage to motivate you to look forward of the new opportunities and experience you will have.

At this stage, the best advice will be to:

Think of happy thoughts & remind yourself that things will be alright.



Once you’ve passed the denial stage, reality sinks back into your life. You realize that things aren’t the same as before that anger starts to fill in. At this point, we start to blame others of their behavior that lead your current situation.

Later we realized that the change couldn’t have hurt us deeply if we have been aware and prepared of it. And instead of feeling the anger that only make you suffer, let go of the feeling and move on with your life.

Remember that the best revenge you can ever do to those who hurt you is living a happy life.



After days of choosing to move on and live happily, suddenly you have feelings of regret and longing of the old things that you’ve had. You start to have self-pity that you want to convince yourself that you were at fault and you feel sorry. For it is indeed easier to go back to your old comfort zone that to face a new unknown reality and life.

However, you may miss great new opportunities if you cling to your old life ‘cause things will just be the same.

As Einstein quoted,

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different result


As days passes by, the reality clearly shows that things aren’t the same and you start to miss the old stuff that you feel sad of what you lost.

It’s good to feel hurt for that means you’re still human. But don’t let the sadness and depression ruin your chances to grow better in life.

Remember that life is has a bucket of good things and you just have to grab it.

The quicker you let go of Old Cheese, the quicker you’ll find New Cheese. – Who Moved My Cheese


Finally, you’ve reach this stage. Congratulate yourself. You deserve a pat in the back!  It was not an easy quest to reach this stage, so you deserve to treat yourself.

Acceptance is the optimum stage of change. Once you reach this, you are indeed free.  You’ve surely grown enough to meet the future of better opportunities and your best self. Now, you can start to create a life of wonderful things for yourself and those around you.

Only by acceptance of the past, can you alter it. – T.S. Eliot


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