Longing for acceptance and love are two things most of us desire for. We seek for meaning and belonging in many ways, through relationship or work.
With our desire to belong, we tend to become “nice” to everyone. When I say “nice”, we are obedient, polite, pleasing and socially acceptable. However, sometimes, people who are driven by the desire to be “nice” or live by the attitude of “do my best” falls into the victim of depression. They experience a sense of inadequacy that is shown through feeling of guilt and stress. They have the uncanny ability to keep everyone happy almost all the time, except that they are not truly happy themselves.
The opposite of a “nice” person is a “mature” person.
Being a mature person means the assertiveness to trade the safe, passive, people-pleasing behavior of niceness for the dynamic power of true goodness.
6 Steps to Maturity
Maturity is an invaluable asset in developing close personal and social relationship. If you long to be more confident and capable, and more spontaneous in living the new era with ease and success, find out for yourself to what extent your maturity is.
The practice of maturity means acting. Act as if you are already the mature person as you can be.
And to help you get started in becoming a mature person, here are the steps:
1. Understand Yourself
If there is no praise or criticism in the world, who would you be?
Take time to spend alone in silence of your true self and answer the question above. It may require you to go out of town or just lock yourself up in your room, but don’t neglect the importance of taking time to answer it.
A step to maturity is knowing oneself. To see yourself as others see you.
2. Be Yourself
Will people still love you if you start honoring your own wants in life? Will they still value you?
A mature person knows how to exercise personal rights without denying the rights of others. It includes your gifts and drawbacks, your potentials and limitations. It has your feelings and capacity to express. Lastly, it gives you willpower and ability to make decisions.
In our desire to be nice to please others, we deny our true self.
But after knowing and understanding who you really are and what your capable of, have the courage to express and stand up for your true self.
So, take for an instance, when somebody comply you to dance when you cannot dance, learn to say no and offer your singing talent instead.
3. Appreciate Yourself
This may sound funny, but to practice appreciating yourself, do this:
Every time you look in the mirror, you must like what you see. More than you did yesterday.
If you want to be appreciated, you have to start with the person closest to you, that’s YOU.
4. Respect Yourself
Our generation loves to belong to the “in” crowd, so people tend to follow what most people does. As such, the word “different” and “unique” becomes a thing in the past or at times, abnormal.
We are created by God as original. We must not forget that and stoop to become copies.
Do not be disappointed with your weakness while be proud and enhance your strengths. Respect that both your strengths and weaknesses are part of your identity as an individually mature person.
5. Love Yourself
Sometimes, we get too preoccupied with all the things we need to do and relationships we have to build, that we tend to prioritize ourselves the least.
But as Whitney Houston’s famous song entitled “Greatest Love of All” have said,
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
The one true definition of happiness is being a good friend of oneself.
6. Laugh at Yourself
Happy are you if you can laugh at yourself! You will never cease to be amused. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Remember: Do not take yourself too seriously.
Be kind to yourself when you make mistake and accept your finiteness in these infinite world.
Make sense out of your failures and sufferings. These gives you insight that can transform your life. Just dust it off and keep moving forward.
To end this post, we hope that these simple steps can help you become as happy and mature person that you can be. That at the time you reach your old age, you can truly say that you have lived a very meaningful life.
you wrote good.
let me implement it.
I would jst like to appreciate the concern u have for others who need obscelecent help.
Hi Nikolai, thank you for your comment. We’re happy to know that our mission is appreciated by people like you. Hope you keep supporting our purpose.
This is truly amazing. The writer did a good job.. and even if I’m only 11, my goal is to be a mature person and to be different form others. I love this. THUMBS UP!
:bd
Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment.
It’s great to know someone as young as you are who are already conscious in living a matured personality. keep it up! 
Thank you very much Lou. This is great, to be frank i was a guy loosing self confident in every thing, but from this lesson i really got to know how i should think and how i should improve my self in life.
once again i’am thanking you.
Please keep in touch mail me this is a request PLEASE….
I’m happy to hear about your decision to take the path of self-improvement. I’m sure you will learn alot and grow more as a person. Please do keep in touch with us too.
The thoughts were indeed lovely and beautifully narrated. Surely would make a difference in many people life, also gets you closer to yourself
Thank you so much!:D I’m struggling with my relationship right now because we are both immature. This seemed like a very good first step towards growing up and taking on all the responsibilities that are required to sustain a serious relationship and a happy family:D Thank you!:D
Hi Jordan, glad to hear that this article has helped and inspired you in choosing to change and become more mature. May this start your journey to personal development and growth.
Kedewasaan seseorang tidak bisa didasarkan dari umur, tapi kedewasaan bisa dilihat dari cara dia bersikap saat menghadapi masalah dan saat dia bertindak saat harus mengambil suatu keputusan yang sangat cepat namun tepat.
Cara berpikir orang yang dewasa selalu berpikir untuk jangka panjang, dan tidak pernah berkata “bagaimana nanti”, tapi “nanti bagaimana”.
Terima kasih.
Hi Terima Kasih, thanks for the comment. To tell you honestly, I didn’t understand what you’ve posted. We appreciate it if you can translate it
Hi. Really thanks. Now i know about mature. Its will help very useful in my life. Thanks a lot
Hi Ganesh, glad to hear this article has helped you. Thanks for your leaving a comment.
hey i am not really sure about all this sure it looks very helpful when you are reading this human mind is very mysterious idk how to be more patient when i always know time is just slipping away. I need help form God
awsome things u were said …..i really change my life into bright like a rainbow colours.
thanks for your comment. glad to hear that the site has been a source of inspiration for you
Its really amusing and helpful……..I just like it
Wow, thanks for this article. You know, last night I was so depressed. I didn’t know what to do.
I was a mess.
You see, I’m one of the “nice” persons you just mentioned in your article. I spent my whole life being good,just wanting to please others.
I never really found my own happiness.
And I realized all this yesterday.
I don’t know if I can change for real, but I want to give myself a chance.
I want to be mature, and happy.
I think that is what successful people are.
Dear Lou,
Thanks so much for such a beneficial article. I am a happy and good person but i never thought about my own happiness, i always tried to make others happy and keep myself depressed and unhappy.
From today I have to find myself happy and enjoy.
Once again thank you so much for posting such a top articles.
Regards,
thanx……..its really very helpfull and it get me the right meaning which i want to know………..
It’s nice to read something refreshing after a stressful week at work. I’m 21 but I feel like I’m still a high schooler
I recently submitted my resume here in our company, hoping to get a promotion to a position I really liked. I’m happy I get to know a few things about maturity, coz I do really wanna step up and leave my comfort zone. Now, I’m slowly but surely improving. Thanks ~
hi lou recently i have read ur two article both seems to be apriciating all the people. i m just starting my life struggling to difficulties n taking the criticisms and complements from others. these text is really helping me to understand life we have in this world