With our desire to belong, we tend to become “nice” to everyone. When I say “nice”, we are obedient, polite, pleasing and socially acceptable. However, sometimes, people who are driven by the desire to be “nice” or live by the attitude of “do my best” falls into the victim of depression. They experience a sense of inadequacy that is shown through feeling of guilt and stress. They have the uncanny ability to keep everyone happy almost all the time, except that they are not truly happy themselves.
The opposite of a “nice” person is a “mature” person.
Being a mature person means the assertiveness to trade the safe, passive, people-pleasing behavior of niceness for the dynamic power of true goodness.
6 Steps to Maturity
Maturity is an invaluable asset in developing close personal and social relationship. If you long to be more confident and capable, and more spontaneous in living the new era with ease and success, find out for yourself to what extent your maturity is.
The practice of maturity means acting. Act as if you are already the mature person as you can be.
And to help you get started in becoming a mature person, here are the steps:
1. Understand Yourself
If there is no praise or criticism in the world, who would you be?
Take time to spend alone in silence of your true self and answer the question above. It may require you to go out of town or just lock yourself up in your room, but don’t neglect the importance of taking time to answer it.
A step to maturity is knowing oneself. To see yourself as others see you.
2. Be Yourself
Will people still love you if you start honoring your own wants in life? Will they still value you?
A mature person knows how to exercise personal rights without denying the rights of others. It includes your gifts and drawbacks, your potentials and limitations. It has your feelings and capacity to express. Lastly, it gives you willpower and ability to make decisions.
In our desire to be nice to please others, we deny our true self.
But after knowing and understanding who you really are and what your capable of, have the courage to express and stand up for your true self.
So, take for an instance, when somebody comply you to dance when you cannot dance, learn to say no and offer your singing talent instead.
3. Appreciate Yourself
This may sound funny, but to practice appreciating yourself, do this:
Every time you look in the mirror, you must like what you see. More than you did yesterday.
If you want to be appreciated, you have to start with the person closest to you, that’s YOU.
4. Respect Yourself
Our generation loves to belong to the “in” crowd, so people tend to follow what most people does. As such, the word “different” and “unique” becomes a thing in the past or at times, abnormal.
We are created by God as original. We must not forget that and stoop to become copies.
Do not be disappointed with your weakness while be proud and enhance your strengths. Respect that both your strengths and weaknesses are part of your identity as an individually mature person.
5. Love Yourself
Sometimes, we get too preoccupied with all the things we need to do and relationships we have to build, that we tend to prioritize ourselves the least.
But as Whitney Houston’s famous song entitled “Greatest Love of All” have said,
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
The one true definition of happiness is being a good friend of oneself.
6. Laugh at Yourself
Happy are you if you can laugh at yourself! You will never cease to be amused. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Remember: Do not take yourself too seriously.
Be kind to yourself when you make mistake and accept your finiteness in these infinite world.
Make sense out of your failures and sufferings. These gives you insight that can transform your life. Just dust it off and keep moving forward.
To end this post, we hope that these simple steps can help you become as happy and mature person that you can be. That at the time you reach your old age, you can truly say that you have lived a very meaningful life.