(Picture taken from the blog “The 7 Best Christmas Light Displays” http://blog.ratestogo.com/)
It’s Christmas time once again. The time everybody’s looking forward to, especially the babies (children).
Since childhood, I always get excited when it’s Christmas (just like any other babies does). I remember that I used to buy a nice Christmas Sock to put in our living room’s window and hoping that the next day, Santa will fill it with my favorite chocolate. And when I wake up the next morning, I’d be so happy to see that my sock is overflowing with Hershey’s kisses.
Christmas for babies means Santa Claus while it means parties and gifts for the adults. That’s how I used to see Christmas and I’m guessing that most people still think the same way just by observing the pack of people in the mall this December. But now, Christmas felt and meant different for me.
Last year’s Christmas day, my family and I attended a mass. As a Roman Catholic, we celebrate Christmas by hearing a mass. During homily, the priest talked about a light in the darkness. He illustrated the feeling whenever we are in a dark room, wherein our initial reaction is to feel scared but slowly we walk step by step while putting our hands in front of us, helplessly searching for the light switch to turn it on and keep us safe.
I’ve looked around the church to see how people react on that message, and as I’ve expected, most were bowing their heads ready to sleep while others are chatting or even texting. I’d be one of them if I’m not different now, but I couldn’t help not to agree with the priest. That year, I’ve been in complete darkness, as in total darkness that I almost had the thought of ending my life only if my friends and my family weren’t there for me. I’ve struggled for months in darkness that every waking moment was dreadful for me. Instead of thanking for life, I even sighed ‘cause it will be another day of pain, of hurt. During those times, there were no days I don’t cry and breakdown. And if you’d see me, you’d cry yourself.
But before this dark moment in my life, I was living my life putting my whole trust to myself and to someone else. I was raised in a catholic environment so I do know how to pray and be religious, but I realized my foundation of faith used to be really shallow. Before I thought as long as you’re going to church attending masses, praying novenas, and being good to people (as you assume), you’re alright and on track.
Now, I seldom attend mass, but I feel like I’m closer to HIM that I ever did in my entire life. Why? Because during my darkest days, when I was walking a life of total darkness, HE was My Light. Maybe this is what others call a MIRACLE. With that experience, I can be a witness to that kind of miracle, ‘cause I’ve been into one. But miracles as it is, I felt that it was more of a wakeup call that HE’s there, that I should completely trust in HIM ‘cause HE guides me and gives me light. It might sound bull, but the reason why I’m so happy now and so positive now, is because of that light. I’m not a catholic turned born-again, I’m still 100% catholic, but the difference is I see Him so differently now than I used to.
Now, Christmas is indeed not about the gifts, not about santa, not about parties, not even the glamorous lights and decors. Now, everyday can be Christmas, ‘cause each day I try to celebrate the light he gives me.
Before I end this post, I want to leave a question in your heart. Ask yourself, what does Christmas truly means to you?