(Davao Philippines River Rafting Experience with Friends)
Last night, I was talking with my sister about relationship. Our topic covered:
- Relationship between couple;
- Relationship between co-workers;
- Relationship between families;
- Relationship with yourself; and
- Relationship with the world.
We deal with relationship every day. The moment we wake up, we build a relationship with our family, our spouse, children and other family members. When we leave our house, we create a relationship with our neighbors and community. As we ride public transport or driving our car on the way to our destination, we form a relationship to other people. And once we reach our work, school or business office, we continue to mingle with people.
Relationship building is very crucial in our daily life, but most of us neglect its importance. Often, people just think of themselves and just think of how to benefit from other people. Our world become so independent that almost everyone is just thinking to survive for themselves, in expense of others. I call this way of thinking as the “ME World”. This society has forgotten the importance of having an inter-dependent connection I call, the “WE World”.
LIVING A “WE” WORLD
I’ve used to be a person who lives to survive. I often call life, “The Jungle” because you see different animals attacking each other to survive and live. But a point in my life came when I realized is it really necessary to live a jungle-like life just to live happily and successfully? That moment changed everything in my life. At that time I’ve told myself that,
“I don’t need to SURVIVE life, I need to LIVE it.”
The moment you’ve crossed the bridge of life, from SURVIVAL to LIVING, you are able to create a different perspective and approach to life. Once you’ve created such change, you will be able to create a different result in your life. An example will be my personal experience, because the important changes I’ve seen in my life when I started to live a “we” world are two things:
- Development of a “Win-Win” Attitude
- Better Relationship with People
Development of a “Win-Win” Attitude
In the past, I was like most of us, living life to survive. To do that, I strive to study hard, work hard and give result fast. My time is always spent to working, working and working. When I’m at home, it’s either I’m sleeping or preparing to leave for work. When I’m at work, it’s either I’m working or taking just 15 minute break to eat. I didn’t give much value in building relationship. I saw life as a race to win. I was too goal-oriented and focused in surviving life that I forgot to live and build relationship around me. And then one moment came, it changed everything in my life. Because that one moment made me feel alone, empty and bruised. And despite the fact that I’ve neglected people around me, like my friends, co-workers and family, ironically, they were the one who came rushing to me for assistance and help bring me come back up to life.
That happening in my life taught me a very important lesson, that’s having a “Win-Win Attitude”. In order to succeed in life, you don’t need to sacrifice everything, you don’t need to outdo anyone, and you don’t need to prove yourself as worthy winner. Life is not a jungle to survive alone, life is a community of people, and it’s about relationship. And for you to excel in this interconnected world, keep a “win-win attitude”. An attitude of working and doing for the common good and mutual benefit.
(Enchanted Kingdom, Philippines with my Teammates/Friends)
If I tell you now that people used to tease me as “Autistic”, probably, you won’t believe it. How can a friendly, bubbly, sociable and personal development guru be autistic? I’m not mentally sick or anything, they just call me such because I often don’t spend time mingling and hanging out with people. I was always busy and on-the-go that I didn’t have time to spend with people. But after such changed in my life, I gave importance in building relationship with people. And in keeping relationship, I saw how important it is that you keep a win-win attitude, a mutual benefit, in any relationship.